Prayer · 4 min read
When you cannot find the words to pray
Silence, borrowed prayers and a single honest line are all real prayer, and Scripture says so.
There are times when prayer will not come. You sit down, or kneel, or lie awake, and there is nothing: no sentences, sometimes no clear thoughts at all. It can happen in grief, in exhaustion, after a long stretch of unanswered prayer, or for no reason you can name. Many people conclude that they have lost their faith or that God is displeased with them. The Bible suggests something else.
Scripture expects this
Paul, writing to the Christians in Rome, says plainly that not knowing how to pray is an ordinary part of the life of faith.
In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weaknesses, for we don’t know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can’t be uttered.
Romans 8:26 (WEB)
Notice the word “we.” Paul includes himself, and he says the Spirit helps at exactly the point where our words give out. The Psalms say something similar from the human side.
Lord, all my desire is before you. My groaning is not hidden from you.
Psalm 38:9 (WEB)
A groan is already in front of God. So is a longing you cannot put into a sentence. You do not have to translate them before he can receive them.
Five ways to pray without your own words
- Sit in silence on purpose. Set a timer for two minutes. Say, “Lord, I have no words. I am here.” Then stay. Being present is the prayer.
- Borrow words. Pray the Lord’s Prayer slowly, or read a psalm aloud as your own. Psalms 13, 23, 121 and 130 are short and cover a wide range of moods.
- Use one line. “Lord, have mercy.” “Help me.” “Thank you.” “I trust you.” Choose one and repeat it with your breathing for a minute or two.
- Pray with your body. Open your hands on your lap. Kneel. Go for a walk and let the walking be your prayer. Light a candle and sit near it.
- Bring a name. Say the name of the person you are worried about, and nothing more. God knows the rest.
None of these needs to last long. Two minutes of silence, one psalm or one repeated line is enough for a day. Choose the one that asks least of you at the moment, and keep to it for a week before you try another.
Short prayers have a long history
Christians have always prayed short. In the Gospels, people call out to Jesus in a handful of words: a blind man by the road asking for mercy, a father asking for help with his unbelief, Peter sinking in the waves and crying out to be saved. Jesus himself warned against thinking that prayers are heard because of their length.
Eastern Christians have for many centuries used a brief prayer asking Jesus Christ for mercy, repeated quietly through the day and often called the Jesus Prayer. Short repeated prayers of this kind are found in many traditions. They are useful because they ask so little of a tired mind.
Let other people carry you
When you cannot pray, others can pray for you. In Mark 2, four people carry a paralyzed man to Jesus and lower him through a roof. He does nothing in the story but lie on his mat while his friends bring him. Ask one trusted person to pray for you this week. You need not explain much.
Sitting in church and letting the prayers and hymns go on around you is another way of being carried. You can simply be there. A written prayer from a prayer book or a hymnal does similar work, since it lets you pray in the words of people who went before you. If the wordlessness goes on for a long time, or comes with a heaviness that does not lift, tell a pastor or someone you trust. Asking for company is part of the life of faith.
Something to try tonight
- Sit on the edge of your bed with your hands open.
- Say, “Lord, you know.”
- Stay quiet for one minute. If thoughts come, let them pass without following them.
- Say the Lord’s Prayer, or just “Amen.”
That is a complete prayer. Nothing was missing from it.
My soul rests in God alone. My salvation is from him.
Psalm 62:1 (WEB)
David wrote that line about resting in God, and resting takes no vocabulary. Words may return next week, or not for a while. In the meantime, what you bring in silence is already before God, and it counts as prayer. Come back tomorrow and sit down again, with or without anything to say.